I’m not entirely sure what to say besides how I’m feeling at the moment, which is a mixture of excitement to be involved in such important work within extraordinarily complex institutions, and the feeling of being in way over my head academically and professionally. My supervisor(s) at the county have been incredible so far in terms of reaching out to me and being available and supportive of the position I’m in of being thrown into what feels like the deep end of the system. The transient array of thoughts I’ve had so far, are as follows:
- I’m incredibly honored to be trusted to be here and learn how to do this work.
- I wonder if me being a relatively large male will have any effect on working with any of the SEY youth in terms of activating trauma… can I be effective?
- I’ve never been the best student… I wonder if I’m capable of balancing the heavy academic load while simultaneously learning to be an effective, efficient social worker and leader. So on, and so forth.
Getting this first week’s glimpse of what the next 9 months is going to be like has been staggeringly sobering, and I see now as I type this that it’s time to reel it in, be here and now, breathe, feel the warmth of the sun beyond the clouds, trust the process, and put one foot in front of the other. That’s what has gotten me this far in the first place. After all, this is a huge life change and warrants some gentleness. I’m also well aware that most people with my type background don’t typically end up in a competitive fellowship in one of the top MSW programs in the country. As stated above, I’m intensely grateful for the challenge.
~ written by a IV-E Fellow after the first week of internship